Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was on one after the team dropped an embarrassing season-opening loss to the Buccaneers.
If Tom Brady ends up retiring at the end of the season, he started his final year in the NFL by throwing one of its most storied franchises into total chaos in less than 60 minutes.
Fans in Dallas like to say that the roof of the Cowboys stadium has a hole in it so God can look over his favorite team. Thank goodness Sunday’s game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was at night because hopefully, it was too dark for God to see what happened.
Actually, based on the events that transpired both on and off the field at AT&T Stadium, there’s a pretty solid argument that God was nowhere to be found in Dallas on Sunday night because the Cowboys could have used some religion.
Losing 19-3 to Tom Brady and the Buccaneers was merely the tip of an iceberg of issues that Dallas now faces just a single game into the season. The offense mustered up only 3 points, boneheaded mistakes and penalties once again plagued the team, and Dak Prescott left the game early with a hand injury and was pelted with garbage by angry fans on his way off the field.
All of that happened and somehow the night still managed to get worse.
Jerry Jones typically stays through the end of Cowboys games but left this one early after seeing all he needed to see. He was seen walking through the team tunnel in the stadium with a walk that surely suggested some stuff was about to go down.
And boy did it ever.
After that angrily taking that brisk walk, Jerry proceeded to unload on the entire team and air every bit of laundry he could.
He told reporters that Dak Prescott would be out for multiple weeks, and that he allegedly needs surgery to fix an injury to the joint behind his thumb. He didn’t give a specific timeline but he also didn’t tell the team this information before he told it to reporters.
Yup. But don’t worry, there’s more.
Jerry seamlessly transitioned from dropping that Dak injury bomb into throwing his coaching staff under all 18 wheels of the bus. When asked about his faith in the coaching staff’s ability to navigate the road ahead, Jones doubled down on his disappointment in how Sunday night went.
“It’s pretty logical for me to see that we’ve got a lot of areas to work on and a lot of areas to improve on,” Jones told reporters. “It was real disappointing before Dak’s injury certainly disappointed after it.”
Prior to that comment, Jones called out everyone in the Cowboys locker room for baffling it was to see them perform the way they did on national television to start the season.
“We’re dealing with a big minus,” Jones said when asked about the team’s performance. “This of course is just the start, but a hard way to start and a very disappointing way to start. There’s no one in that locker room that expects us or expected us to play like we played tonight. Certainly, that will be addressed and worked on.”
Is it the most aggressive Jerry’s thrown his coaches under the bus? No, but let’s tally up the score to fully underscore the pettiness of his comments. After Jerry watched his team forget how to play football on national television, he told the media about the health status of his franchise quarterback before the coaching staff essentially sending them to the firing squad to answer questions he knew damn well they’d be unequipped to answer or seem competent fielding.
Big oof. Masterfully evil, but big oof.
Things on the field couldn’t have gone much worse than they did on Sunday night, but it appears the Cowboys’ season is off to quite possibly the worst start fans could have imagined and doesn’t appear to be getting better anytime soon.
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