Detroit Lions head coach Dan Campbell knows exactly how to scout the Minnesota Vikings-Philadelphia Eagles Monday Night Football game, man.
Tongue in cheek or not, Motor City Dan Campbell is a fricking legend, man. He is the real-life equivalent of Ted Lasso football meatheaded machismo, man. The star of HBO’s Hard Knocks is fricking starving to win to bring a winner to Detroit, man. So the next time you pass out and spill over backwards from the clutches of your La-Z-Boy, just know that you are scouting games, man.
All you got to do to win the day on Tuesday is to drop a few aspirin into your pair of Starbucks double-shot ventis (doosh!, doosh!) to get that fricking ball rolling, man!
Dan Campbell tells us how to scout a fricking Monday Night Football game, man
No, it doesn’t matter if you can’t read your fricking notes the morning after, man. You were in the fricking zone, crushing brews and watching professional gladiators duke it out on the big screen at home, man. But let’s be real, man. Having to watch Kirk Cousins throw one bad interception after another in between Joe Buck straining his vocal cords on every other “CAUGHT!” is so hard, man…
Overall, this has the chance to be a fricking special year for Campbell and the Lions, man. They are in the process of going from lovable losers to everybody’s second-favorite team outside of the one they root for every week, man. Just imagine this, man. There will come a day when Campbell will be leading these most ferocious Lions out of the tunnel during a fricking NFC playoff game, man.
That dream does not have to be one of the pipe variety, man. The NFC is not that good of a conference, so let’s fricking go Lions, man! While the college football teams are playing pretty well across the state for the most part, the city of Detroit needs a winner in the professional sports landscape more than ever, man. Campbell is going to raise this city a championship banner, man!
Once you rise up from your drunken La-Z-Boy spillover onto the floor, it’s time to go to work, man.